McSweeney’s List (15 April 2026)
THE INTERNAL GARDEN OF PEACE
Peace is a popular concept in times of war, and war is popular.
Times of secure, stable, peace are few and far between (for some countries more so than others, and globally all at once, it's never happened). Thus, peace is one of those ideas that runs as an undercurrent, as a rule: pageant queens wish for it, believers pray for it, idealists talk about it. But when there's real war too close for comfort or even credible threats thereof, we scream about it. At the thought of death, at worst, and discomfort at best, we do the math and determine ourselves to be pretty fucking happy and free, and don't want anything to throw a wrench into the workings. We feel satisfied with the way things are, and realize that we're willing to make sacrifices to protect what we have. The whole time wishing things would just be peaceful, and we didn't have to do these things or think this way.
When war is farther away, being passionate about peace is treated as idealist rhetoric. People roll their eyes, and say we should be more competitive, more ambitious, that talking about how we can create lasting peace is naïve. Historically, when things feel safe, we ignore our own gardens in favor of greener pastures, and laugh about our empty pantries because they can always be filled again.
Both paths are effective ways to manipulate populations and economies: creating fear of potential war gets folks to ask for less (well, at least it's not war!) and crave stability. Offering peace gets people hopeful, and the hopeful spend while smiling (the despairing spend while scowling, thinking about how the expensive T-shirt they just purchased is the treat they deserve this week, because they know they'll never own property). When the people are spending, they don't mind that the government is spending, or that they're making risky investments. It's all gravy, baby.
Even at my relatively small big age, I've had the opportunity to see the cycle chase its tail for a few rounds. I've seen people screaming how the end is near for decades, and then rejoice how peace has been restored, never to be broken, and we can all get back to our bullshit. Blessedly (or by dumb luck, but don't they mean the same?), I've been able to watch it all unfold from a safe distance, but the cycle indicates something bigger to me: external circumstances always ebb and flow. The farthest we can get from those dangerous waves to avoid getting swept up, -- and the closest we can get to sustained peace -- is inner peace.
(Did you just roll your eyes at me?!)
Zoom in and you’ll notice that the people you know in real life who are secure in themselves, are the least likely to become agitated. They don't take it personally when someone cuts them off in line. They tend to have firm boundaries, and they might even tell the person that they were already in line, or the line is actually back there, but they won't lose their shit about it. There's enough space between the outside world and their own stability within themselves that this transgression doesn't even reach their radar for giving a fuck. They might even ignore the cut entirely, because why spend a second on something so meaningless?
On the other side of the coin, you'll find the folks internally at war with themselves. They perceive slights where none exist, furiously railing at ghosts. Their anger is disruptive, and their hearts are miserable. In personal relationships, they foster rifts while screaming for loyalty, and in the aforementioned example of someone cutting in line, they spiral out in ways that would make them a Springer Show star. (Is there a more modern equivalent? You guys know about Jerry Springer, right? I have faith that he's part of the cultural canon.)
There's no point in arguing with those who carry war in their hearts. In my 20s, I was certainly closer to that paradigm than the other, so trust me when I say that. That mindset creates right fighting, where winning is paramount, and changing minds -- either theirs or your own -- is unimportant. Factual arguments fall by the wayside in favor of proving your strength over the perceived opponent, usually relying on personal attacks, or even fear.
A peaceful heart allows you to state your opinion while remaining detached from the fray. These days, I will debate, but even in times of personal conflict, I am secure enough in myself that personal attacks are off the table; I probably won't even raise my voice. At the end of the day, it's ok to have different opinions about things, what matters is how we move forward together in spite of them. I'd venture to say strengthened by them: a variety of viewpoints helps us gain focus on the full picture, while increasing our problem solving options. If you have a better way to make an omelette, why should I argue the point instead of learning your way? Turns out my toast is better, so together we can improve a whole breakfast. (I'm hungry. Additionally, eggs are an anytime food, and we can debate that anytime.)
This past week, Pope Leo XIV made a statement calling for peace. He reminded believers and the world at large, that God doesn't sanction war, so the concept of war in the name of God, or one side being more blessed than the other is impossible. (Yes, the Bible is full of war, violence, and revenge, but from my understanding, Jesus stood for the flipping of individual tables where necessary, not suiting up and killing.) In a move that surprised no one, Trump called the Pope (the literal Pope; this is such a weird timeline) a liberal catering to the radical left, soft on crime, and said that he was terrible for foreign policy. Foreign policy?! Bro has his own country. And how did Leo answer when asked about the response? He said he would continue to speak up for peace; that he isn't a politician, and won't debate the issue; that people who read will reach their own conclusions. A masterclass on peace.
Let that example be a lighthouse in a world that wants us fighting because it counts as engagement. Find the quietude in yourself that allows you to be kind in your certainty, even when the ignorant refuse to learn. Do not waste breath being rage-baited by those who deny the existence of gravity. Cultivating peace in your heart will protect you against being tossed around by the competing voices, including your own worst self. No one can storm the borders of your internal garden, and it's the perfect refuge in which to weather every storm. The important thing is, we have no hope of achieving peace on the outside with the multitudes if we can't find a slice of it within ourselves.
BIG SEXY NEWS!
This Saturday, Forget the Box is heading up to the legendary second floor of Café Cléopâtre for a night of community, high-energy performance, a bit of chaos, and plenty of skin!
The folks at Bareoke have always been incredible supporters of Forget The Box, and we're beyond grateful to collaborate with them for this fundraiser. They are generously donating $1 from every ticket sold directly to FTB, and our crew will be on hand all night slinging popcorn (available by donation) and running a 50/50 raffle while you enjoy the city's most iconic Saturday night events. (It’ll be a helluva time! It's strip karaoke, after all!)
The night will also feature a performance by our very own Creative Director Andrew Jamieson and LOCAL LEGEND Mina Minou!!
The wild poster image for this can’t-miss event features Monsieur McCarthy and Bix
All proceeds from the night support Forget The Box Media Inc., a federal not-for-profit organization dedicated to amplifying ground-level, underground, and marginalized voices through hyper-local arts journalism, event production, financially accessible community workshops, and more. This work is centered through our flagship digital arts magazine, your favourite resource for what’s happening in Montreal’s art scene, Forget The Box(.ca).
The venue is cash only.
🎟️ $13 Before 10 PM / $16 After 10 PM
IF YOU CAN’T MAKE IT AND WANT TO CONTRIBUTE TO FORGET THE BOX(.CA), PLEASE VISIT OUR ZEFFY CAMPAIGN!
HISTORY OF HEALING
Where We Go to Heal is an ongoing painting series which explores the healing spaces of people living with chronic illness and disability. Born of artist, painter and patient-partner, Hannaleah Ledwell’s own experience navigating illness, the project centres the voices of patients who, like her, remain resilient in the face of difficult diagnoses and the everyday reality of living in a world not built for them. It will present work developed through the Michele Larose-Osler Library Artist in Residence Programme, where Hannaleah expanded the project through archival research into medical history. RSVP required.
WHAT: Exhibit Vernissage | Where We Go To Heal: Women’s Health in History
WHERE: Osler Library of the History of Medicine, 3655 Promenade Sir-William-Osler, Montreal, H3G 0B1
WHEN: Thursday, April 16, 4 PM - 6 PM
METRO: Peel (Green)
RSVP: LibraryRooms
THEY'VE GOT IT ALL!
Candyass Cabaret is bringing Burlesque - Comedy - Variety to the entertainment district!
The effervescent Miss Pretty Pretentious MCs the night featuring Natacha G. Filion (standup comedy), Penny Royale, Classy Clare, Velma Candyass, Luxxx, Bambi Van Boom, and Tania the Mexican.
WHAT: God Forbid! Candyass Cabaret
WHERE: Café Cléopatra, 1230 St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2X 2S5
WHEN: Friday, April 17, Doors @ 8 PM, Show @ 9 PM
METRO: Saint-Laurent (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
LIKE INTERMITTENT FASTING?
Confabulation MTL presents -- Feast or Famine: Stories of secret sauces, expanding palates, and bringing home the bacon.
Montreal's original, true-life storytelling series is back with a mother night of stories -- true as we can tell them. We've got six, 5-7 minute, autobiographical stories exploring the theme, told without notes, props, or gimmicks.
For Feast or Famine, you can expect stories of having it all or nothing, gluts and shortfalls, tasty treats and hunger pangs.
WHAT: Confab (MTL): Feast or Famine
WHERE: La Sala Rossa, 4848 Boul. St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2T 1R5
WHEN: Friday, April 17, Doors @ 730, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Laurier (Orange)
TICKETS: VenuePilot
HOT OFF THE PRESSES
Ever wanted a Foufs t-shirt?
On April 17, Rag Custom is taking over Foufounes Électriques to print an ultra-limited series of unique t-shirts.
A portion of the profits will go toward supporting bands from the 123Punk 2026 tour. 123Punk was a MusiquePlus show that ended in 2010; since then, they've built a community on riffs, pits, and putting on hard shows!
Designs by Guillaume Fortin, Branca Studio, and Sébastien Thibault. Created specifically for the event, each piece will be screen printed live.
No restock.
No reruns.
WHAT: Live Printing - Foufounes Électriques x 123Punk
WHERE: Foufounes Électriques, 87 Rue Sainte-Catherine E, Montréal, QC H2X 1K5
WHEN: Friday April 17 @ 7 PM
METRO: Saint-Laurent (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
OLD HAUNTS
Take a trip through Old Montreal, the city's most haunted neighbourhood, led by a professional actor and storyteller from Haunted Montreal.
Old Montreal is the city’s most haunted neighbourhood. Since colonial times, the area has witnessed countless horrors – genocide, warfare, plagues, disasters, heinous crimes, tragedies and shocking deaths.
These dark episodes ripple through time, leaving deranged legends, haunted history – and a plethora of ghosts and paranormal activity.
Old Montreal is steeped in history. With its cobblestone streets and timeworn historic buildings, some dating back to the 1600s, it is a popular neighbourhood for tourists and residents alike.
However, as the site of colonial establishment, it also has an extremely dark and disturbing side. Step back in time into Montreal’s most historic neighbourhood.
The Haunted Old Montreal ghost walk visits historic locations such as the Place d’Armes, Rue St. Paul, the Courthouse District, Place Vauquelin, Champs-de-Mars, Jacques Cartier Square and the infamous Chateau Ramezay. These areas are all rife with paranormal activity and ghost sightings.
Learn the deranged story of Marie-Joseph Angélique, a slave woman who was hanged during the New France era for allegedly starting a devastating fire. Despite there being no witnesses, she confessed under torture and was then executed.
Hear about the fires at the Hotel-Dieu Hospital and the ghost of Jeanne Le Ber, a Catholic recluse who frequently self-flagellated.
Visit the site of Montreal’s first British Jail, the infamous Montreal Prison. While today only the cells remain beneath the historic Place Vauquelin, the area is known for its haunted activity.
The adjacent Champs-de-Mars was the most popular site in the British Empire to witness a live execution. The sloping geography and amazing views of criminals being hanged provided the ideal setting for parents to educate their children about morality during picnic lunches.
Discover the Chateau Ramezay, an 18th-century museum where paranormal activity unfolds, and the ghost of a former warden, Miss O’Dowd, terrifies clients with her deranged antics.
Led by a professional actor and storyteller, this ghost tour is sure to please ghost hunters, history buffs and Hallowe’en lovers with its creepy tales of paranormal activity and the ghostly spirits that haunt the heart of Old Montreal.
WHAT: Haunted Old Montreal
WHERE: Maisonneuve Monument, 155 Rue Saint-Jacques, Montreal, H2Y 1L6
WHEN: Saturday, April 18, Meetup @ 820 PM, Tour @ 830 PM.
METRO: Place d'Armes (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
PRIMAL POETICS
Join Accent at the ever faithful Bar Le Record on St. Hubert for another evening of poetry and prose hijinks featuring guest readings by Liz Howard, Derek Webster, and Jack Daniel Christie. As always, sign up for the open mic at the door!
WHAT: Accent Volume 135: “Primal” with Liz Howard, Derek Webster, and Jack Daniel Christie
WHERE: Bar Le Record, 7622 Rue St. Hubert St., Montreal, H2R 2N6
WHEN: Sunday, April 19 @ 8 PM
METRO: Jean-Talon (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
World’s Smallest Comedy Night has so many cool things happening, so here are their events this week in order!
What Do You Know? Like, Seriously…
Tonight! Come to Hurley's for Trivia Night, and get bonus laughter! Enjoy delicious pub fare, and get ready to show off your trivia skills. Grab your team, and enjoy this night of comedy, friendly competition, and great company!
This edition is hosted by Vance Michel.
WHAT: Trivia Night at Hurley's
WHERE:Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Wednesday @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
RSVP: Eventbrite
Classic Coke
Beat the Monday Blues with WSC’s OG offering, The World's Smallest Comedy Night!
Enjoy a showcase of the best comedians in the city, hot up-and-comers, national and international touring comics, and surprises!
Hosted by Vance Michel, this edition features Dan Kestler-D’Amours, Matthew Bourjeli, Gotham Kasy, Collin Ryan, Joel Slavic, Zak Gott, Charles Montgomery, Radu Sona, and Jonathan Burello.
WHAT: World's Smallest Comedy Night
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday, Doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Dirty Monday
The Monday Night Dirty Mic is the place to be! Hosted by Vance Michel, every show is an unpredictable and unique experience as a hilarious collection of comedians from newbs to pros take the stage. See the best before anyone else, and catch seasoned locals doing their freshest funnies!
Comics: show-up, sign-up
WHAT: Monday Night Dirty Mic
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday, Sign-up @ 10 PM, Show @ 1030 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
