I've been looking into coping methods lately. Whether it's the conflux of perimenopause and neurodivergence (it is), or the state of the whole ass world (yep, that too), or the bone chilling return to winters of yore (also that, for sure), I've been struggling. Not struggling sad, (which I'm quite familiar with), but struggling with a new found clarity about what I like, don't like, and can't at all tolerate. The Gen X zero fucks given mentality has hit hormonal change, and I actually give even fewer fucks about a lot of things, while I get misty watching the things that bring me joy.

It's liberating; much like my post nose operation journey that allowed me to breathe and silenced my mental noise as my body demanded rest and healing, this feels clear and calm and right…Until it feels like why is this dumbass still talking? How long before I tell them they're full of shit, and bite their head off?

The good news is that while I've been down some pretty personal rabbit holes search-wise, I've returned from my foray with some universal advice, and always, I'm here to share it with you, Dear Reader.

The most interesting thing I found is to cultivate a “scent free circle”. Now, ironically, having worked in the yoga space, scent free is one of those catchphrases I've seen often, and it's funny because I'm a scent junkie. In fact, one of the things I hate about winter is the lack of smells, so bring on the perfume layering, the scented plug-ins, the incense. But thankfully, that's not what they mean here. In this context, it's the circle of friends you can just be yourself with. I’d go so far as to say it's the folks who don't reek of bullshit, and the ones you don't have to bullshit in return. So many times we have to bite our tongues, play social or professional games, and having people who can handle -- dare I say love -- your whole entire real self, provide an oasis on the nonsense.

Looking around my circle with that in mind, I feel quite lucky. My need for authenticity has forced me to cultivate this scent-free circle without thinking about it. My nearest and dearest are those with whom I can be my unadulterated self. What a fricken blessing! Granted, it's a small circle, but I'm going for quality over quantity here, and I'm acing the assignment. Knowing that I have people in my corner who accept and love me in all my different modes and phases brings me both joy and peace. They make me feel lighter and more myself. They encourage me in the directions that lead me where I want to go. For instance, these are the people who celebrate my wins and never ask “how much are you getting paid for that”, because let's be honest, the things that make my life worth living rarely come with anything more than a “thanks”. Dealing with people who don't understand, who think everything should be monetized, cost me undue energy; I don't want to be in a position where I have to explain my choices in a way that feels like justifying.

When I over explain in an effort to clarify my words before any feelings get hurt, these are the people who tell me they fully understood me the first time, and that they didn't take any offense. What a breath of fresh air! Being offended feels like a social currency these days, and to have a space where I can simply talk my talk and walk my walk is a rare treasure. As Andrew Jamieson says whenever we host anything, the only rule is don't be an asshole. No censorship required, no taboos off the table, no sacred cows protected, only the quality of intention matters. Even in frustration or disagreement, the respect and love remains, and we move forward together.

My true friends encourage me to show up, remind me that I'll feel better when I do, but they also encourage me to ditch things. They remind me that not everything is equally important, and that I am in fact human, subject to stress, and sometimes in need of time to recuperate. It's more than permission, it's their reminder to me that I don't have to force everything all the time.

Another great coping tactic I pieced together from a few things I read is essentially to lean into what you love. I'm generally pretty good at this one; I do my funky walk to my own drum circle, but there are always blind spots. So I'm normalizing saying ok, I'm down to watch this dark movie, but then I need a cartoon break. (Fun fact, dark here can mean content or aesthetics; save me from the gruesome murders and the muted palettes.) It feels a bit silly, but it's how I balance, so why not say it out loud?

Plus, I love a lot of things, and what I prefer depends on the moment. And annoyingly, sometimes my brain tells me I should be doing something different. Watching cartoons? Should be reading. Playing video games? Should be writing. Writing? Should be writing something else. And while I do want to do all these things, forcing them or hating myself for them is counterproductive. Playing video games while your brain shits on you that you're wasting time is not relaxing. Reading when you're thinking about writing isn't reading. I'm practicing presence, and giving myself over fully to the passion at hand, telling my brain to stfu. This isn't easy, because I'm breaking some bad habitual internal dialogues, and every time I succeed, I feel good. Leaning into what I love also means embracing (without judgment) my own desire to do a sudden deep dive into the Library of Alexandria (fascinating, highly recommended). (If that example isn’t up your personal alley, you might enjoy the newly discovered Australian dwarf shrew, crocidura stanleyi, that weighs about a sugar cube, which -- thanks for asking -- is 3-4 grams. That little guy is absolutely why I dreamed I had an itty bitty dog last night.)

As for the idiot still talking, the one whose head I'm inclined to bite off, I found some good advice for that too: it's not my job to make them comfortable. And that -- the permission to stop spending energy I don't have on protecting the feelings of people I don't care about -- was, well, comforting. I don't have to laugh at their bad jokes, or work to hold up a conversation that's failing. I don't even have to ask myself why I don't want to. I'm not an asshole if I say hey, I'm tapped out and need a break. Even professionally, I can tighten the tap and spend less energy without affecting my performance. It's less fake smiling, offering fewer openings for the conversation to continue. And I'm not an asshole when I let the unfulfilling conversation fall to its death because I refuse to keep it afloat. If I don't want to continue the conversation, I certainly won't tell them about the tiny shrew.

We're all weird ones, Dear Reader, and we’re all in the grips of our own stuff, along with everything else going on in the world. We have to get back to basics, and put our own oxygen mask on first. Believe your gut; you don't need a dissertation on why. Give to where you get from. Follow your nose, and walk away from bullshit.

IT’S ALL GREEK

Let the gates open — the 2026 McGill Classics Play is almost here!

This daring new iteration of Sophocles’ Antigone was adapted by McGill alumni Caroline Little and Madelyn Mackintosh from a new translation by Adam Zanin.

Antigone returns to a city fractured by war and numbed by triumph, eager to forget its wounds and celebrate its survival. In this aftermath, Kreon ascends to the throne: newly empowered, cloaked in civic virtue, and determined to restore order at any cost.

His first decree labels Antigone’s brother a traitor and condemns his body to rot on the battlefield as a warning to those who might defy the will of the state. But, grieving and furious, Antigone chooses conscience over complicity.

Restaged amid the rising authoritarianism of the 1930s, this modern adaptation of a Greek classic asks: What do we owe the dead? What do we owe each other? And, when tyranny jeopardizes the world we know, what do we risk by looking away?

General Admission: $25

Reduced Price: $15 students, seniors 65+, artists, those under 30 years old

WHAT: Antigone

WHERE: Le 9e (9th Floor of the Eaton Centre), 1500 Robert Bourassa Blvd, Montreal, H3A 3S8

WHEN: Wednesday, February 4 through Saturday, February 7, Doors @ 630 PM, Show @ 7 PM

METRO: McGill (Green)

TICKETS: Feverup

TRIBUTE TO A GREAT

Artloft Cinema Soirée returns with another classic.

To celebrate the life and passing of Catherine O'Hara, Artloft Cinema Soirée will screening Martin Scorsese's After Hours (1985) A dark comedy thriller following Paul Hackett, a, straight-laced word processor who endures a Kafkaesque nightmare in NYC's Soho after a blind date goes wrong. Throughout a single night, he faces absurd, escalating mishaps, including hostile cabbies, eccentric artists, and a mob, struggling to return home.

$10

BYOB and Green Friendly

Free Popcorn

Stick around for a discussion following the screening.

Buzz Apt. 202

WHAT: Artloft Cinema Soirée: After Hours

WHERE: Artloft Media, 4152 Boul. Saint-Laurent, Montreal, QC H2W 1Y8

WHEN: Thursday, February 5, Doors @ 845, Screening @ 9 PM

METRO: Mont-Royal (Orange)

DETAILS: Facebook

THEY ASSURE US THE SHOW IS HAPPENING

Laughably late announcement here, but the damn old open mic is this Thursday with the whole fuckin reading for five minutes at a time and whatnot (no ukes, no acoustic guitars, no standup). We got PAIGE COOPER (author of Zolitude), recently returned to Montreal, plus the delightful KALDEN RANGDROL of DHATSENPA, author of his own destiny and also California: Above, Everything Else from Discordia Review. Come 'round, come 'round.

WHAT: JRG Open Mic

WHERE: Bar L'Hémisphère Gauche, 221 Rue Beaubien E, Montréal, QC H2S 1R5

WHEN: Thursday, February 5 @ 8 PM

METRO: Beaubien (Orange)

INFO: Facebook

MAKES ME THINK OF MOONS…YOU KNOW?

Lust Cove is back with our annual Lunar New Year show!

Join us for a beautiful night welcoming the year of the Horse with a fabulous cast featuring Lia Jasmin, Lychee Storm, Miss Scarlett Knife, Kaya Koko, Aiko, Solo, Kimora Koi, and Chise!

In addition, we're organizing a small market to honour Black History Month featuring some amazing vendors for you to check out before the show and during intermission. More news on vendors to come!

WHAT: Lust Cove’s Lunar New Year Show

WHERE: Café Cleopatra, 1230 St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, QC H2X 2S5

WHEN: Friday, February 6 @ 8 PM

METRO: St. Laurent (Green)

TICKETS: Eventbrite

VALENTINE’S EVE EVE

Nothing says romance like laughter, and this Valentine’s season, we’re serving up both. Join us at the beloved Pasta Cassareccia for an unforgettable night of comedy, comfort food, and cozy vibes.

Whether you're planning a date night, celebrating with friends, or just looking to treat yourself, this show brings together great food, great company, and great comedians in one intimate setting.

Hosted by the hilarious Sarah Warren, the night features three powerhouse performers: Troy Stark, Chris Venditto, and Lou Laurence!

Expect sharp wit, big laughs, and the kind of energy that makes a night truly memorable.

General Admission: $40

Date Night Special: 2 for $60 Includes an appetizer.

This isn’t just a comedy show, it’s a full experience. A warm, intimate restaurant. A lineup of top-tier comedians. Delicious food. A room full of awesome people.

It’s shaping up to be one of the best nights of the year.

WHAT: A Valentine's Comedy Show at Pasta Cassarecci

WHERE: Pasta Cassarecci, 5849 Sherbrooke St. W., Montreal, H4A 1X4

WHEN: Thursday, February 12, Dinner @ 630 PM, Show @ 8 PM

METRO: Vendôme (Orange)

TICKETS: Eventbrite

World’s Smallest Comedy Night has so many cool things happening, so here are their events this week in order!

What Do You Know? Like, Seriously…

Tonight! Come to Hurley's for Trivia Night, and get bonus laughter! Enjoy delicious pub fare, and get ready to show off your trivia skills. Grab your team, and enjoy this night of comedy, friendly competition, and great company!

This edition is hosted by Walter J. Lyng.

WHAT: Trivia Night at Hurley's

WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1

WHEN: Every Wednesday @ 8 PM

METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)

RSVP: Eventbrite

Classic Coke

It's a super special night: come see WSC’s 300th show!

Expect laughs, surprises, and celebratory vibes!

This special edition will be co-hosted by WSC co-founders Vance Michel and Walter J. Lyng!

WHAT: World's Smallest Comedy Night

WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1

WHEN: Monday, February 9, Doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 PM

METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)

TICKETS: Eventbrite

Dirty Monday

The Monday Night Dirty Mic is the open mic that started it all! Hosted by Vance Michel, every show is an unpredictable and unique experience as a hilarious collection of comedians from newbs to pros take the stage. See the best before anyone else, and catch seasoned locals doing their freshest funnies!

Comics: show-up, sign-up

WHAT: Monday Night Dirty Mic

WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1

WHEN: Every Monday, Sign-up @ 10 PM, Show @ 1030 PM

METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)

DETAILS: Facebook