McSweeney’s List (30 July 2025)
In 1972, George Carlin did a bit that became legendary: "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television". The words were "shit", "piss", "fuck", "cunt", "cocksucker", "motherfucker", and "tits". We've come a long way, and the list seems pretty tame in hindsight, but every generation has its own taboos, and we certainly have ours.
The word taboo comes from the Polynesian “tapu”, meaning prohibited or forbidden. It also refers to menstruation, a reminder that within the arbitrary societal framework of the time, even the most natural things can be deemed unacceptable. Today, when we can blow up someone’s life for their choice of words, the stakes have become higher while the threshold for what’s unacceptable is a consistently moving target, dependent on who you're speaking to, and the whims of the zeitgeist.
It's a trap primed to catch people pleasers, virtue signalers, and those afraid of conflict. They form small tribes depending on what taboos they agree on, unable to speak truth, afraid to offend anyone, calling each other out on the smallest misstep, thanking each other for calling them out, so they can be oh-so-much-more careful people. Stuff it.
These days, you can get away with calling someone a bag of tits on daytime television, and the bad words have become more conceptual. Let me tell you about some of the phrases and ideas that seem to be off limits at the moment.
Personal Responsibility / Accountability
We're all working with the cards we've got, and we're all holding our share of sketchy low cards. Some people like to open with their low cards, as in, “Hi, these are my flaws, problems, and traumas.” Those folks are shit at parties (but very popular among the virtue signalers, who enjoy knowing people who represent every pitfall life has to offer. They're trying to catch ‘em all, effectively tokenizing everyone while screaming how they hate that behavior). To suggest to these folks that they wisely play the hand they're dealt instead of lamenting the cards themselves is tantamount to violence. To suggest that they aren't the only ones with these struggles is to steal their participation trophy. You are not allowed to remind people that they aren't special; it's straight up hate speech.
Once, when faced with a tight deadline, someone replied to a follow-up request saying that they were a queer, mentally ill artist, and shouldn't be pressured. Cool. The message was received by a queer, mentally ill artist who meets his deadlines, but keeps his low cards close to his chest. So, maybe, just maybe, neither of those things were valid reasons for a delay. Say you're struggling, say you're overwhelmed, apologize for the delay. Your diagnosis and who you fuck will not let you skip the line when it comes to bad behaviour, broken commitments, or generally being a shit person. If you consistently find you can't do the things you want to do, well, that's tragic. I've been there, and I had to be realistic about what I could and couldn't do. The world will not give you extra time to finish your exam even if schools did. You're an adult now; take responsibility for your actions, or lack thereof, and be accountable for how that impacts those around you.
This also applies to people using their trauma, mental illness, or whatever else as their overall excuse for treating others badly. Your scars do not grant you permission to be an asshole. They can explain why you're an asshole, but they don't excuse being one. No one is obligated to put up with your shit just because you can trace it back to a source. As soon as you become aware of your shortcomings, it's your responsibility to sort them out.
“It's not for me.”
This one's so taboo, you rarely hear it anymore. Saying that something isn't for you used to be pretty basic. Now we can't seem to state personal opinions without attempting to make the subjective objective. It's no longer “I don't like it”, it's “this is from a privileged perspective”, or “this is offensive”. Not that it offends you, but that it is in some magical way, universally offensive. Personal opinions and tastes are nuanced; saying something is simply wrong liberates people from the vulnerability of stating a personal opinion that may or may not be popular. It pretends to be the high road by transforming everything into a political statement. Sure, the fact that I tell dick jokes is political. But if you don't find them funny, that's ‘cuz you don't find them funny, not because they are contributing to the downfall of society. Nothing is to everyone's taste; in fact, when you find things that the majority of people do like, you will also find a powerful marketing firm behind it. Trying to justify why you don't like a thing using lofty, academic jargon is the equivalent of screaming “won't somebody think of the children”. Bro, if you don't like it, it's not for you. Keep it pushing.
Inclusivity is a Lie
We spend a lot of time and energy doing mental gymnastics to cover all our social bases. So much so, that it's not only absurd, but it begins to provide inverse consequences. For instance, how often have you heard something to the effect of: “you know, the guy with the red shirt. Uh, he was standing next to so-and-so…he had the haircut?”. Bro, say the black guy. It's not offensive that he's black, and it's not offensive that you noticed that he is, so wtf are we doing? How can he be a proud black man when you won't even acknowledge that he is a black man?
Recently, I saw a comic get called out for including trans porn on a list of porn categories. Why?! Are we saying it's too weird to mention? Too precious to mention? That we can't acknowledge its existence or that people watch it? I thought erasure was bad? (Unless it's cis men, then we can assume their sexualities are immovable, their intentions are evil, and it's easier to just erase them all regardless of their lived experiences. Right?!)
Nothing derisive was said about trans porn, by the way. It was simply a list that included piss play, choking, incest, and gay porn, but trans was a bridge too far, as though the words shouldn't be said out loud. At a time when we have gay and trans book fairs, clubs, and parades, this is a mind fuck.
“Me Too”
No, not that me too. Let's call this one asterisk me too (*Me too).
While everyone is screaming how special they are, and how they deserve special treatment as a result, I've found “me too” to be a particularly powerful phrase. When people call my office, they lament that it's hard for them to schedule an appointment because they “work”. Me too. All of us, in fact. The world will not fall to your feet in reverence, rather, we are in this boat together. I've heard producers lament how much they give to their craft “and I have a day job!”. As do the other artists, Honey. In fact, between jobs, kids, health, and investing time in our relationships, it's a miracle we ever have a chance to think, let alone create. Charles Bukowski worked at the post office for over a decade before being able to quit and become a full time writer at 50. While he often wrote about the spiritual damage done to us as cogs in the capitalist machine, he never once said “but, I write and I have a job, be nicer to me”.
We cannot expect continuous sympathy or praise from others for the things we choose to take on. Trying to cast yourself as a martyr is tacky, and shows you lack awareness about the burdens and obstacles others face each day. Saying “me too” when people try this tack is the clearest and kindest way I have found to remind them that they aren't the only ones living complicated, and beautifully multilayered lives.
We're left in a limbo of double speak, one where we're all encouraged to speak freely about our most intimate pains and pleasures, as long as we don't say anything too directly. The people who take offense seem oblivious to the fact that actual hate isn't accepted or funny. We're forced to preface our feelings and opinions with our own personal struggles before we are allowed to state anything to ensure the idiots give us the floor at all.
Oh cool, let me try to follow the rules you've created to make us all walk the same narrow line (probably saluting someone, you know? Because fascists love censorship almost as much as people who believe in bubble wrapped lives like to call people Nazis).
Ahem. When you say words are violence (public words, internet words, a floating phrase; I'm not talking about abusive words in personal relationships, those should not be tolerated) I, as a mentally ill, neurodivergent, perimenopausal, complex PTSD having, childhood trauma, and domestic violence survivor, know that you're a pussy trying to play oppressed. I know that you could not have survived, let alone thrived with my life experience; that you are collecting a record of micro aggressions like Pokeballs as a cheap hobby for social clout. Either you haven’t faced and healed your own shit, or never had any real shit in the first place.
People are entitled to use whatever words they want, and others are entitled to respond. That's the basis for communication, and frankly, it’s how freedom of speech finds its level. Language police are always bad. If we can't speak, how can we listen? If we can't listen, how can we understand?
If you don't like my choice of words, they aren't for you. If you can't discern between words, intentions, actions, and violence, don't talk to me at all.
And if this hurts your over coddled feelings, sort it out yourself; your feelings are no one's responsibility but your own. Buck up and rub some dirt on it, cunts.
Sunset Supercharge
It's a rejuvenating evening of hiking, meditation, Yin Yoga, and sunset views on Mont Royal led by Paulina!
The evening starts with a walking meditation, followed by an easy and gentle Yin Yoga practice (where you hold poses for a couple of minutes, promoting deep relaxation and inner peace. It also lowers body temperature!). Then, the cherry on top: the sunset.
This event is open to all, and is donation based with a suggested donation of $10 - $20. Please note that the event will only take place if a minimum of 3 people are on site.
WHAT: Sunset Walking Meditation & Yin Yoga Hike on Mont Royal
WHERE: Monument Sir George-Étienne Cartier (at the base of Mont Royal, near Park Ave). Look for the orange yoga mat!
WHEN: Thursday, July 31 @ 6 PM
METRO: Mont Royal (Orange)
RSVP: Eventbrite
take your words to the next level
Creative writers and poets, this one is for you! The Elevate Your Words: Literary Performance Workshop is a 5-hour intensive workshop designed to transform your creative writing from page to captivating stage presence, taking place at Parc Jeanne Mance. This workshop is led by Andrew Jamieson, an interdisciplinary artist with extensive experience as an actor, dancer, singer, comedian, director, and spoken word performer (and Creative Director of Forget The Box). Jamieson introduces his unique Practical Integration Method (PIM), which he began developing in 2018. PIM is deeply rooted in his personal philosophy that authentic self-awareness and embodied expression are fundamental to communication. Adapting PIM's core principles for creative writers of all genres and experience levels, this workshop equips you with tools to confidently connect with your written work, banish nerves, find your authentic voice, and master your physicality. Through experiential, hands-on exercises in a supportive, non-judgmental environment, participants will learn to integrate mind, body, and voice for grounded, truthful, and utterly captivating readings. This empowering experience is offered for $40, reflecting the belief that artistic training shouldn’t be a luxury.
WHAT: Elevate Your Words: Literary Performance Workshop
INFO & REGISTRATION: whothefuckisandrewjamieson.com
Summer of Love
Swirling '60s psychedeli-funk meets fresh neo-soul funk. Get ready for a genre-bending sonic journey as Old Soul brings vintage grooves and cosmic vibes, while Paramecium stirs up funky rhythms and smooth soul flavors you can't resist dancing to. One stage, two bands, zero rules.
Come get weird!!
WHAT: Psychedeli-Funk Night
WHERE: Bar Le Ritz PDB, 179 Jean-Talon St. W., Montreal, H2R 2X2
WHEN: Saturday, August 2 @ 9 PM
METRO: Jean-Talon (Orange)
TICKETS: Universe
Green Giggles
Got stoner stories worth telling? Come on down and watch some amazing improvisers turn your funny 420 stories into live comedy! From hilarious mishaps to unforgettable moments, we’ll take your silly tales and spin them into something special.
Come early (7:45 - 8 PM) and join some of the performers at the park for a pre-show puff-puff-pass.
Produced by Improv 4 Breakfast, Seb H., and Danny A.
$12 Advance
$15 Door
But wait! There's more! Want a full night of laughs? Get our Double Feature Special with Pride Prob at 7 PM! The name says it all: it's a pridetastic improv show! The double feature gets you 2 shows for $20, while supplies last.
Get your Pride Prov tickets here.
WHAT: High Status
WHERE: Montreal Improv, 3716 Notre-Dame St. W., Montreal, H4C 1P7
WHEN: Saturday, August 3 @ 830 PM
METRO: Place Saint Henri (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
World's Smallest Week
World’s Smallest Comedy Night has so many cool things happening, so here are their events this week in order!
What Do You Know? Like, Seriously…
Tonight! Come to Hurley's for Trivia Night, and get bonus laughter! Enjoy delicious pub fare, and get ready to show off your trivia skills. Grab your team, and enjoy this night of comedy, friendly competition, and great company! Hosted by Vance Michel.
WHAT: Trivia Night at Hurley's
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Wednesday @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
RSVP: Eventbrite
Classic Coke
Beat the Monday Blues with WSC’s OG offering, The World's Smallest Comedy Night!
Enjoy a showcase of the best comedians in the city, hot up-and-comers, national and international touring comics, and surprises!
Hosted by Vance Michel.
WHAT: The World's Smallest Comedy Night
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday, Doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Dirty Monday
The Monday Night Dirty Mic is the place to be! Hosted by Vance Michel, every show is an unpredictable and unique experience as a hilarious collection of comedians from newbs to pros take the stage. See the best before anyone else, and catch seasoned locals doing their freshest funnies!
Comics: show-up, sign-up. The show is now capped at 15 sign-ups, so be there early!
WHAT: Monday Night Dirty Mic
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday, Sign-up @ 1020 PM, Show @ 1030 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events, workshops, and more, each week in Montreal!
