McSweeney’s List (31 December 2025)
There's a wide range of ways to step into the new year. The spectrum goes from rolling off someone else's couch, wondering what day it is, to waking up with the sun, meditating, then heading off to the gym, committed to a new paradigm. Hell, there are definitely people who won't even wake up on January first, because they’ll still be up, partying until they can simply party no more. And on the other hand, I'm sure there are those who cleared the carbs out of their homes as soon as Santa left the building, ensuring a head start on the fresh year.
Those are the extremes, of course. For most of us though, it is the quiet time of reflection, and daydreaming the future into existence. In the days after Christmas, I spoke to people experiencing crashes both physical and emotional. One slept for 18 hours post-hosting family, another had been laid up with a cold, then went straight into a period, and the quiet landscape paired with the weight of the world had her heart feeling misty for days. Let your guard down for two seconds, and the season will work its magick: we need to pause, ponder the journey of this year, and set our sights on where we want to go next.
The resolution game is redundant: quit this, lose this, workout, gain this, get this. If you have goals like that, go get’em, tiger, but do be aware that it'll be a process before it's a perfection. So many people give up on their resolution to quit smoking as soon as they slip up and have a cig. What's the plan? Keep smoking until you make the same promise next year? No: you stick to your guns, call it a relapse, and quit again from mid-January. Same with fries, same with the gym, same with every damn thing.
I enjoy the vague resolutions -- like chase more joy, hold higher standards, let love in -- but it's hard to gauge success without specifics. As such, I propose some very specific and random ideas for the new year.
Pet More Strange Animals: become the person who says hi to all the animals. Talk to dogs, and maybe their owners if they seem nice. Stop and vibe check every outdoor cat. Some will not want to chill with you, but you can certainly tell them they're a lovely loaf. Give them cute names, or very pretentious ones, like Sir Theodore, and greet them appropriately. Tell your friends you saw Cuddlebutt on your way over. And don't stop there: say hi to the squirrels. Be classy with the crows; they have remarkable facial recognition, and if you can befriend them, the world is your shiny oyster.
Acknowledge The Sun (and the Moon): every sunrise and sunset is unique, making them a fleeting work of art. More profoundly, each is also the reason we're alive. Take a moment of meditation, contemplation, prayer, whatever you prefer to recognize the crazy miracle that is a star keeping our small rock habitable. And the Moon, the mooooon! Without her, there wouldn't be wind, or tides, or life at all. Our cosmic Man & Wife are what made all of this (gestures vaguely) possible. Each full moon has a name, each moon phase holds symbolism. If we tune into that, turning our attention away from manmade schedules to notice the cosmic scale of things and the strange miracle that is our existence, we shift our perspectives. Imagine you’re on an alien planet observing the way our rotation sets and rises the sun. It's a wild ride.
Learn: pick a thing, and fucking run with it. Make this the year you learn to crochet, or the year you visit every museum in town, or deep dive into history and architecture and track down historic design moments. Bring your rabbit holes into the real world, and get weird with them. We live in a historic, artistic, musical city, oozing with culture and design. It's all right there for those who can read the brickwork. Read long dead local poets, and then go find where they used to live (for instance Emile Nelligan’s old digs on St. Lau are some shop now). Make your own kombucha and then shake your head at the retail prices. Learn to sew so well that you start making new things out of old. Time is passing, and you're more skilled now than any other time in your life, so why not strike while the iron’s hot? By this time next year, you’ll have a whole new facet of self to appreciate.
Do Something Scary: it doesn't have to be dangerous; plenty of un-dangerous things are completely terrifying. Maybe you've been putting off meeting people (‘cuz people are tricky), or looking for love (because that's risky, and hearts are fragile). Maybe you've been eyeing a trip, but feeling nervous, or maybe you want to chop your hair shorter than it's ever been. What’re you waiting for? As Longfellow said, art is long, and time is fleeting. Burst onto the scene of your own life, not fearlessly, but despite the fear. That's bravery. You are the star of your life, Dear Reader; stop pretending you're an extra, and bask in the spotlight of your lived experience.
Remember Dear Ones, as Eminem said so concisely, you only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow. We have so few shared “fresh start” moments, so seize it. And yes, you can wish for more wishes. You can commit to recognizing all the personal fresh starts along the way: a new beginning after each obstacle you overcome, a new chapter with every change you make and step forward that you take. Because time's passing whether you mark it or not, so why not make it a beautiful road trip? We're all time travellers, friends, so immerse yourself in the process.
Happy effin New Year, Dears.
TONIGHT: FUN & FLIPPERS
We’re having a huge event. Our bar is 10! (It’s a tween) Celebrate this milestone with us! Let’s dress up and dance, play pinball, have a drink or two, and reminisce! No cover!
Gear up for the ultimate costume party. Dress as your wildest, weirdest or fanciest self. From North Star and pinball inspired to wacky and wild - anything goes!
THERE WILL BE CASH PRIZES FOR BEST COSTUMES!
$500 for 1st, $300 for 2nd, and $200 for 3rd!!!!!
Get creative! Contest at 1 AM!
PUNK POLICE WILL BE SPINNING THE FUNNEST TUNES ON VINYL ALL NIGHT
THERE WILL BE A MIDNIGHT TOAST
THERE WILL BE CAKE
THERE WILL BE A PIÑATA
THERE WILL BE A RAFFLE
THERE WILL BE GIVEAWAYS
Everyone who attends the celebration will receive (while supplies last):
- North Star 10th Anniversary Tote
- 1 of 10 Limited Edition T-Shirt designs
- North Star Sticker Pack
- Even more fun surprises!
We love you, and thank you for hanging out with us all these years!
WHAT: NYE - North Star’s 10th Anniversary
WHERE: North Star Pinball, 3908 Boul. St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2W 1Y2
WHEN: Wednesday, December 31 @ 8 PM
METRO: Sherbrooke (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
START THE NEW YEAR FULL
Celebrate the holiday season in style!!!
Cheers to a new beginning! Join us for a delightful New Year’s Day Buffet and raise a toast to the possibilities of the upcoming year. Gather your friends and family for a feast, and start the new year with great food and wonderful company at our table!
New Year’s Day Buffet Rate:
Adult - $23.99
Kids(age 6-10) - $15.99
Kids (age 1-5) - Free
Reservations: ☎️ 5142709090
WHAT: New Year's Day Buffet
WHERE: Appayon, 520 Ogilvy Ave., Montreal, H3N 1M8
WHEN: Thursday, January 1, from 1 PM - 9 PM
METRO: Jean-Talon (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
GO HARD
Dear Evangeline ( from Brampton),
Buff (from Brampton, with members of Dear-God, DAMBE, and Dear Evangeline)
VVomb (Goated band from Montreal
Drainstar (New Swag Band from Montreal)
10$
Small room, so this will once again pack out fast!
Flyer by the man Fred Peters.
WHAT: Into the Ether 012: Dear Evangeline, Buff, VVomb, Drainstar at Rockette Bar
WHERE: Rockette Bar, 4479 St. Denis St., Montreal, H2J 2L2
WHEN: Saturday, January 3, Doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 730 PM
METRO: Mont-Royal (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
JOY, COFFEE, AND PASTRIES
Trans Joyful A Work in Progress show is exactly what it sounds like. Comedian Aloe Azimov builds material for their comedy album, and performs a 30 minute set in this show alongside incredibly talented comedians!!!
Alex Griffin hosts, featuring Monica Hamburg, Raquel Maestre, and more!!!
The show is pay what you can.
Free to reserve in advance on Eventbrite.
Photo by Joseph Fuda.
Poster by Andrew Jamieson.
WHAT: Trans Joyful A Work in Progress Show
WHERE: Café Eevee, 1251 St. Zotique St. E., Montreal, H2S 1N8
WHEN: Saturday, January 3 @ 8 PM
METRO: Beaubien (Orange)
RSVP: Eventbrite
CLASSIC COKE
Beat the Monday Blues with WSC’s OG offering, The World's Smallest Comedy Night!
Enjoy a showcase of the best comedians in the city, hot up-and-comers, national and international touring comics, and surprises!
Hosted by Vance Michel, featuring Charles Montgomery, Sam Adamo, Edyson Dufort, Brad McDonald, Ceecee Huys, Serge Nkuski, Daniel Kestler, Miguel McKenna, Matthew Bourjeli, and George Assily!
WHAT: The World's Smallest Comedy Night
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday, Doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
DIRTY MONDAY
The Monday Night Dirty Mic is the place to be! Hosted by Vance Michel, every show is an unpredictable and unique experience as a hilarious collection of comedians from newbs to pros take the stage. See the best before anyone else, and catch seasoned locals doing their freshest funnies!
Comics: show-up, sign-up
WHAT: Monday Night Dirty Mic
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday, Sign-up @ 10 PM, Show @ 1030 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
