McSweeney’s List (3 September 2025)
We’ve all thought, “are we there yet?” We probably all thought it today at least once, be it in traffic, in line, on a metro that may or may not be resuming regular service any minute now…or now…or -- Or even when listening to someone talk, watching them circumnavigate the point with no apparent plan to get there. Most of us have outgrown the need to ask the question out loud every two minutes, but our minds can still make a sort of mantra of it as we watch the clock tick down to quitting time, or mark the days off before a trip.
Ok, now think of something you’ve looked forward to, and consider how far away it feels now. The days leading up to it felt tedious and never-ending, but the time since has flown by, hasn't it? Perceiving time is a wild trip, and good things in past tense can feel like we let something go in space, feeling far away even if it wasn't that long ago.
Let's take summer as an example. How many bundled up, cloudy days did you spend visualizing sunsets nearing 9 PM, and the feeling of grass on your toes? (For the socked folks among us, I imagine you were looking forward to finally ditching the boots. Same-same, I'm sure.) Now, even before it's ended, it already feels distant. As a sidebar, I know there's a debate as to when summer ends, and I understand for students who’re back at the books, the summer chapter is fully closed. I understand that even non-students think Labor Day weekend is the cherry on top, and I am aware that pumpkin spice season has arrived, and I've already had a latté. It was iced though, because until I pack my daisy dukes away, summer still reigns supreme Chez Moi. Still, I'm thinking about fall fashion, hearty recipes, and what can be planted in the fall to bloom next spring. Are we there yet?
They say that depression is looking backwards (I disagree), and anxiety is looking forward (that tracks). It's no surprise that in a society where we're driven to count the days to our financial due dates and next status steps, we’ve cultivated an environment of agitation, and the illusion that we need to strive for, and never actually reach, satisfaction. While I'm a proponent of continual growth, learning, and experimentation, the constant grasping is what causes the strife.
I didn't make this up. Yoga philosophy teaches “non-grasping” as a foundational tenet. The Tao specifies that one cannot attain the meaning of Tao by effort. Of course, we’re always in action: setting and attaining goals, moving from now into the future, but breaking your head reaching for progress, enlightenment, or trying to speed up time, will only cause suffering.
We're always almost there; that next step, change, love, job, breakthrough is basically in the room with us, and we simply need to shift slightly to see it. We don't try to be better people; we take the actions a “better person” would take, and we become better. We might feel hopeless job hunting, or home hunting, but once we get the call, our reality changes and we begin to think of the next steps from there. We’re so busy chasing, we don't see our lives flying by.
School lasted forever. Before we knew what was happening, we were locked into the education system for at least 12 years. Rather than fish in water, we knew there was more to life, and pined for adulthood; for jobs based on prime-time depictions, and what appeared to be the power of our parents. It takes about five hot seconds of job hunting, bill paying, and grown-up responsibilities to wish for nap time and a juice box. It doesn't take time for our school days to feel like they happened to someone else, just a shift of mindset. Those days seemed long, but we were always almost done with it in the grand scheme, and later we lamented its passing. In the workforce, people talk about retirement as if it will set them free, but then they will wish for the youth and vigor of their working selves, bet. They will attend their own retirement parties wondering how they got there so quickly.
Naturally, my depressive mind feels the need to connect this to death; to point out that every moment we rush fast-forwards us to our own end. In Walden, Henry David Thoreau said “As if you could kill time without injuring eternity”, and I think of that often, especially when I feel inclined to rush. Time is the only truly limited resource, the one we can't recoup no matter how much our hearts desire it, or how much we have in our bank accounts. So while we hurry to the next holiday (bet you're working out your Halloween plans right now), remember to also be where you are; feel it, memorize it, because soon enough, this moment right here will hold its own flavor or nostalgia.
While I can't find the quote, there's another tidbit I read somewhere that I think of often: staring at a flower all day might seem like a waste, but not to the one doing the staring, or the flower. As long as you're engaged in the moment, energetically fully present, nothing can be wasted. Create those moments. Fill your pockets with memories while you're counting down to whatever else you believe there is, because the only one you're racing is yourself. And if you take a moment, Dear Reader, to look back on how far you've already come, you’ll realize that you're already almost there.
TONIGHT!
An evening of 80s-tinged music, from The Mirror's synth-driven New-Wave pop to the scorching guitars of Groupe B, and Martin Saint's dark and moody crooning! Check out our Feature Friday on Martin Saint!
WHAT: Groupe B + Martin Saint (Full Band) + The Mirrors
WHERE: Casa Del Popolo, 4871 St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2T 1R6
WHEN: Wednesday, September 3 @ 7 PM
METRO: Laurier (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
LIT-ERALLY
Quick turnaround this time as JRG returns with Foster Gareau and darby myr, two open mic regulars turned features, proving there is hope for all of you! (Some of you.) Otherwise, we'll be doing the usual open mic thing, so come on the early side to get yourself signed up before the list fills. Always free, though it never hurts to kick in tips for the performers, do whatever you want as long as it doesn't involve playing a ukulele, acoustic guitar, or doing a tight five.
WHAT: JRG “Say ‘no’ to Rhodesia!” Literary Open Mic featuring Foster Gareau & darby myr
WHERE: L’Hémisphère Gauche, 217 Beaubien St. E., Montreal, H2S 1R5
WHEN: Thursday, September 4 @ 8 PM
METRO: Beaubien (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
SUSTAINABLE AND BEAUTIFUL
It's a celebration of Sustainable Art!
Enjoy an afternoon of inspiring panel talks, live artist pitches, a pop-up exhibition, and an eco-art market! Connect with fellow artists, innovators, and industry leaders who are reimagining a sustainable future through eco-conscious creation.
FYI: While the event states a deadline for RSVP, when I hit the link it appears to be only a deadline for artists, so audience RSVPs are still good to go.
WHAT: Ecryate Eco Art Contest 2025
WHERE: 600-1250 Guy St., Montreal, H3H 2L3
WHEN: Saturday, September 6, from 1 PM to 6 PM
METRO: Guy-Concordia (Green)
RSVP: Luma
CELEBRATE!
OK, so this one's great! Ratha-Yatra (aka the chariot festival) is an international Hindu celebration. Idols are brought out of the temple and into the streets for a fabulous, energetic party! It's open to everyone, and I can tell you from personal experience that the vibes are impeccable. Plus, it's the city's 45th edition!
Everyone of all ages is invited to experience the beautiful, vibrant, welcoming, fun and mystical ambiance of traditional and exotic India. This is a Quebec production and collaboration of two Québec non-profit organizations: ISKCON Montréal and Festivals of India.
On Saturday, September 6, Ratha-Yatra launches with a grand chariot dance with singing procession accompanied by kirtan (mantra combined with melody) all the way to the park destination where over 10 000 free delicious vegan plates await the public. This is a sensational weekend of joyful community vibes, creating opportunities for an inclusive and multi-sensory experience for all to participate in Ratha-Yatra cultural activities:
- main stage cultural entertainment, with Québec and international artists featuring traditional classical Indian music, singing styles and dance
- free vegan feast
- musical mantra-meditation (kirtan) gatherings
- spiritual book fair and philosophical presentations
- vendors village
- cultural exhibits
- henna art and face-painting
- kids corner and much more!!!
The festival is an opportunity to build bridges by showcasing the uniqueness of traditional Indian cultural heritage stemming from the ancient civilization that continues to stand the test of time through many disciplines and many communities around the world.
WHAT: Ratha-Yatra Chariot Festival
WHERE: Angrignon Park, 1209 Rue Baxter, Montreal, H8N 2S4
WHEN: Saturday, September 6: Procession starts @ 11 AM at the corner of des Trinitaires and Lacroix (Activities at the park are Saturday & Sunday, from 12 PM to 730 PM)
METRO: Angrignon (Green)
DETAILS: Link is broken - Ratha Yatra on Facebook
POETRY GOES PUNK
The Bonfire of the Poets at Traxide was Discordia's first event, and it set the tone for the degenerate, spiral-eyed approach the press has taken to the literary community through its shows, zine publications, and online blog in the years since. To celebrate, we're returning to the scene of the crime, under new management as the mighty Thrashcan. We're joined by indicted co-conspirators Joe Bagel, Gwen Aube, Alana Dunlop, Mona Gendron, Zak Jones, and a few surprises, under the heckling hand of notorious emcee THE POETRY HEEL. Doors are at 8, show at 9, BYOB/cash bar. Let's turn this thing all the way loose. DM a host for location / ask a punk
WHAT: Discordia Review Presents: Bonfire of the Poets
WHERE: Thrashcan (Ask a Punk)
WHEN: 8 Show @ 9 PM
DETAILS: Facebook
*INSERT COOL SKATE TERM*
Montreal Skates and Montreal Skates Girls are throwing a Back to School skate day! All skill levels, all disciplines, prizes to win, friends to make, and free refreshments! As a mom, I must remind you to wear your helmet, and have tons of fun.
WHAT: MTL Skates: Back to School
WHERE: Argensen Pumptrack, 1138 d'Argenson St., Montreal, H3K 3A8
WHEN: Sunday, September 7 @ 2 PM
METRO: Charlevoix (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
STRAIGHT SHOTS
It's a night of stand-up comedy featuring and produced by graduates of the Joke Club comedy course. Come early, enjoy an amazing meal, and then watch the city's best up-and-coming stand-up comedians for a hilarious night of comedy.
Free shot with every ticket!!
Featuring Janelle Hacault, Emily Sharma, Milly Bridges, Velvet LaTouche, Zack Knox, Thomas Barnwell, JP, Heidi Lynn Weeks, Julie Santini, Rodney Ramsey, Walter J Lyng, and Daniel Carin.
WHAT: The Straight Shooters Stand-Up Comedy Show
WHERE: Le Tequila Bar, 4401 Notre-Dame St. W., Montreal, H4C 1S2
WHEN: Tuesday, September 9 @ 8 PM
METRO: Place Saint Henri (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
GOING SOFT
It's another amazing evening of poetry and prose with featured readers Jessi MacEachern and Jessica Bebenek. Theme: Soft Boys/Girls. Sign up for the open mic at the door.
WHAT: Accent Volume 121: Soft Boys/Girls
WHERE: La Marche à Côté, 5043 Saint Denis St., Montreal, H2J 2L8
WHEN: Sunday, September 7 @ 8 PM
METRO: Laurier (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
BDAY LIVE POD
It's Dan Lilah’s birthday and he's celebrating by broadcasting Montreal's #2 radio show, CJLO 1690's Advice By The Fireplace, live from Theatre VME with special guest comedian/actor Chris Sandiford and some special surprises. Advice is nice!
WHAT: Advice By The Fireplace Live
WHERE: Théátre VME, 5337 St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2T 1S5
WHEN: Friday, September 12 @ 830 PM
METRO: Laurier (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
World's Smallest Week
World’s Smallest Comedy Night has so many cool things happening, so here are their events this week in order!
What Do You Know? Like, Seriously…
Tonight! Come to Hurley's for Trivia Night, and get bonus laughter! Put your knowledge to the test! Whether you're a history buff, a pop culture guru, or a sports fanatic, there's something for everyone. Grab a pint, enjoy delicious pub fare, and get ready to show off your trivia skills. Grab your team, and enjoy this night of comedy, friendly competition, and great company. Hosted by Vance Michel.
WHAT: Trivia Night at Hurley's
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Wednesday @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
RSVP: Eventbrite
Classic Coke
Beat the Monday Blues with WSC’s OG offering, The World's Smallest Comedy Night!
Enjoy a showcase of the best comedians in the city, hot up-and-comers, national and international touring comics, and surprises! Hosted by Vance Michel.
WHAT: The World's Smallest Comedy Night
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Dirty Monday
The Monday Night Dirty Mic is the best uncensored open mic in town. Hosted by Vance Michel, every show is an unpredictable and unique experience as a hilarious collection of comedians from newbs to pros take the stage. See the best before anyone else, and catch seasoned locals doing their freshest funnies!
Comics: show-up, sign-up
WHAT: Monday Night Dirty Mic
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday, Sign-up @ 1020 PM, Show @ 1030 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
RSVP: Eventbrite
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events, workshops, and more, each week in Montreal!
